RETURN TO THE DENTAL NIGHTMARE

I promise this will be my last record of my experiences at the hands of a French dentist but I returned on Thursday for my TEETH. Well I thought I was getting a simple plate with three teeth on it. Oh No. A top plate with the five teeth which were missing and a bottom plate with the three he had pulled out and another five, at the back which had been missing for years. It is like having a Bl**dy great lump of plasticene in my mouth. Dave keeps saying keep them in and persevere but I throw up every morning I try to put them in., Life at the moment is sheer hell. My gums are sore with trying to keep these things in my mouth and if I want to eat I just have to take them out otherwise I have more food in my teeth at the end of the night than goes down my throat. I know this sounds awful BUT IT IS!!!!!


We are going out tomorrow to the new Bize restaurant La Grange with Christopher and Penny and India and heaven knows what I am going to eat, probably soup. I suppose the good thing is I will no doubt lose weight.

I have paid 3000 Euros for this nightmare what a waste of money and I know now why you see little old ladies walking around with not teeth in, they have been to the same dentist as me.

Enough of that then. The weather is now extremely cold and we have had our first frosts which have finished off several plants and I am praying for my bougainvillea which looks a little worse for wear. Still no sign of the landscaper and I am beginning to think my front garden is going to look like a concrete jungle forever. Tina and Tony are snow boarding on the Swiss border and I am sure having a wonderful time.

Soon be Christmas. we will probably have chicken this year as the beef here is rubbish. More news as and when

SECOND VISIT TO THE BUTCHER!

Well this is one post which I did not think I would be making. I went on my second visit to the dentist today. I had been told that it would take a month for my gums (sounds awful and old doesnt it) to relax before I could have my new teeth. Well guess what NO NEW TEETH. I get there and am invited into the torture chamber, where he proceeds to drill out the teeth which I presumed were prepared for crowns. No such luck. He drills and drills until I say to him "have you reached Australia yet" Open your mouth, he replies and keeps on drilling. Then he gets a waxy plate ready for an impression of where he has just drilled. Then he harshly pulls out the two pins he put in last month and drills even more. Now I am going to get my crowns, I think. B****cks. Another impression of my upper jaw, he pushes and shoves the plate into position and pulls my head back with his thumb on the plate until I think my head is going through his stomach. Then he pulls my lips around and manipulates my cheeks, all the time shouting RELAX!!!!!!!!!!!!You are having a laugh, how the hell can I relax with your two hands and a metal plate full of goo in my mouth. That over he does the same with the bottom. Put your tongue out, further, further (it wont go any bloody further I say) if it could I would be in for an oscar in a new Deep Throat movie. That over, which took about an hour again, he turns his back on me and I am ushered into the office. Oh by the way this time I am taken into another room to wash my mouth out. (Has he been reading my blog!!!!!?????_

We go into the office and they say next appointment 27th November, I ask why I havent got my new teeth as promised, Oh we need to take another impression. I kick up, "WHY"?? Receptionist calls dentist and obviously informs him I am not the happiest person in France today. He calls me back in. We will do it now. Well it just got worse, Another impression of the bottom. Another of the top with all the rough manipulation of the cheeks etc and shouts of RELAX I cannot fight with you. !! Then not satisfied with that, he gets a container with a long spout like the sort of thing you pipe round the tiles in the bathroom and fills my mouth with more waxy shit (sorry about the language but this has been hell). Then its back to the office for the appointment to be confirmed for the 27th.



We had a really lovely meal to go to with all our village friends on the 22nd. It is an annual thing and I had really looked forward to it but unless it is a dracula lookalike ball I will not be going. French dentists.............................MERDE and not a lot of money coming back on the french health system. There must be some perks living here but dentistry is not one of them. The landscapers havent turned up for the garden either because it is too wet at the moment and I have had a load of plants delivered which I can do nothing with .



Oh well c'est la vie, I'm off for another drink

THE FRENCH DENTIST

Not something I would recommend to anyone. I like to think I am reasonably brave at the dentists but I can honestly say that last Thursday was the worst experience of dentistry I have ever had.

It did'nt start well because I was called in almost an hour after my appointment time so I had had almost 60mins of worrying about it for a start. So he lays me down totally flat and gives me enough pain relief to knock out an elephant. They dont use needles here which is nice, its a strange pressure machine which plays a stupid tune. Of course some of the liquid yuck dribbles into your mouth and guess what - nothing to swill your mouth out with - no glass, no basin NOWT. Yes he has the old suction machine which he used once. Then he drills the teeth to prepare for the crowns and when that is all over - still no rinse offered or indeed possible - more anaesthetic in preparation for the threee extractions. More dribbles of yuck into the mouth and no rinse, then crunch, crunch, crunch out come the three teeth, blood now joins the yuck liquid in the mouth and he decides it is time he has a chat with his colleague. During this time (about 10-15 mins) I am lying flat on my back with a pressure pad being held firmly by my few remaining teeth in order to stem the bleeding. Alors, then he tells me I can go home and he will see me in a month. So here I am, the toothless wonder of Bize, unable to go anywhere -well would you with a big hole in your gob?

So there you are. I just thought I would share some of my trauma with you good reader, because why should I suffer on my own!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

More news as it happens,

OCTOBER HAPPENINGS

Yes the october posting is late I know, but we have been rather busy. David's sister arrived for a weeks holiday and now Tina and Tony have arrived from their canal boat work near Paris. They are staying in a lovely gite in the village and seem to be thoroughly enjoying themselves en route for the alps and work in a ski-hotel. Nice work if you can get it.

Anyway the pictures this month are of course of the progress of the grapes, they have been picked and are now turning to glorious colours of gold, red and amber, an amazing sight. I
have been kicking myself, because I forgot I had a good video on my little camera and
I could have taken pictures of the picking machines, so watch this space next year.

Apart from the grape harvest I have been waiting for my landscapers to sort out the front of
the, laughingly called "garden". They have managed to plant four olive trees but nothing much
else has happened, its slowly slowly here in France. However Christopher ploughed up the area
where we had our blow up pool and I intend to plant fruit trees instead. Blow up pools are ok but like normal pools they need maintainance and why bother if you cant swim in it, so we have decided not to bother, we can always have a cold shower if it gets too hot.

So this is the plot and once again watch this space because I will be planting it soon with apricots, peaches and Neflars!!

I am off tomorrow to the dentists to have three teeth out and two lots of root canal work, all in the space of an hour!! Sacre bleu. It costs an arm and a leg here, approx 3,000 Euros and you dont get a lot back from the health insurance, so lets hope it is worth the pain! Cant say I am looking forward to it but if it improves my sexy grin its got to be worth it.

One of the other reasons I have been a bit quiet on the blog front this month has been the fact that I have been engrossed in Big Cat Live on BBC. Just like being on Safari which I miss so much. We may try to do it again next year but the problem is David is not insured for existing illnesses and lets face it he, poor soul, has enough of those to fill a medical journal! We considered going back to Paxos in September 09 but would you believe Easy Jet are charging almost £1000 for us to fly from France to Corfu. We'll see and I will keep you posted. Just in case they are watching the Blog I would like to say to our friends Nick and Gill, who are about to tour the world, have a fabulous trip and we look forward to a few wines when you get back.

Cant think of anymore for now so more news from Bize as it happens - stay tuned

ELECTRICAL STORM OVER BIZE MINERVOIS

My first effort at a video, what a fab storm but bad news for the vineyards. This video was taken at the back end of the storm when the thunder had died down

NOW THEY ARE DEEP PURPLE !

These pictures were taken on the 1st September but, as so often happens here in France and especially in Bize, the Internet failed and we were without our link with the outside world for a couple of days!

We have seen no rain now for almost three months and the temperature has been between 80C and 100C on most days ! I pray for a day of good rain as the water is expensive here and I am soaking the plants every night to keep them alive.

We found a fantastic cafe recently. It is a little pull-in place which sells fresh fruit and veg from a van but behind it under beautiful shady mulberry trees there are tables and they serve ice cold beer and excellent food. The menu is very limited of course but a three course meal for two with wine costs about 25 Euros. Sadly they close for the winter in the middle of September, so we will have to find somewhere else for our cheap night out.

Dave and I are both going to the dentist next week and it looks like a big bill for lots of new teeth. Why cant we be like crocodiles and grow new ones!

We have landscapers coming to do the front "garden" in October, so I will take some photos of the barren wasteland and hopefully we will be able to see a big difference. I have ordered lots of new plants on line from the French nurseries so hope they understand my poor command of the language.

The walks with the locals will be starting again this month but we look forward to the picnic season in the Spring.

Here is the latest picture of the grapes, now turning black. The Vignerons have been busily watering many of the vineyards because we have had such a dry July and August. Further north there have been awful storms which have done a lot of damage but we have been spared.August has been very hot so far with temperatures in the 100's which is just a wee bit too warm. We have the shutters closed and also the windows to keep the hot air out. Barbees have been difficult because it is a toss up as to which is the coolest method of cooking, use the barbee and sweat buckets or use the cooker and leave the house whilst things are cooking, I have preferred the latter much as I love barbees. We use vine wood for the fire which burns at a very high temperature, so it is six of one and half a dozen of the other.We have just engaged a landscaper to start in October at the front of the house so I hope the general impression of a building site will soon disappear! It means lots of planting and trees but anything for a proper garden.

Earlier in the month we went to visit Stuart and Sheila, old pals of ours who have a house near Cahors. They have virtually re-built the house and are also the proud owners of a very nice
pool, makes my blow up job look really sick! Stuart pretended to push Dave in, but caught him off guard and voila, in he went complete with shoes, what a laugh and thank goodness I wasn't the one who pushed him!


No its not a mermaid!